Beauty and the Beasts

I've mentioned in my notes before how I'm the only woman in a department of men. Fact is, in my building there are only 7 women and a little more than 100 men. Some optimists may think those are incredible odds for a woman looking to get a little lucky.
Not.

I'll be the first to admit there are some lookers (well, maybe 4 or 5) and I do my share of flirting but the majority are funk-E and/or neurotic. Let me share an example of each demonstrated to me just today.

The first example is that of funk-E. This guy comes in my office today and wants to ask me a few questions about some work I do. He pulls up a chair beside mine so that I can show him some examples and suddenly I feel that he is much too close and within my personal comfort zone. I take a deep breath and decide to tough it out. It's close to lunch time and he shouldn't be around very long.
As I'm explaining a process he starts to dig in his ear. I'm used to these men burping and making odd noises with their bodies so this digging didn't really take too much of my attention.....UNTIL he took whatever it was he was digging for and flicked it on my floor. I just looked at him. No, I'm pretty sure I was looking thru him. He just kept on talking as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
It's one thing to do that in the privacy of your own office but to do that in front of someone else, and to flick the evidence on the floor is funk-E.

The second example happened this afternoon when the most neurotic person I know came to my office. He too pulled up a chair right beside me, invading my comfort zone. The difference with this man and the other is this guy smells really nice and dresses really sharp. However, scent and fashion cannot help those that suffer from this disorder.
He asked me the most simple question. I gave him the most simple answer, one that I had been answering the same way for the past 10 years. He stood up, put his chair back, and WENT OFF. I'm sure there was pure disbelief on my face but my mind was rapping a Will Smith song....swallow your pride, don't let your lip react, you don't want to see my hand where my hip be at.....

He continued to rant for about two minutes when he made the most incredible statement. "I looked for that for four hours today!" Keep in mind his voice is loud and rising. If I wasn't already aware of his neurosis condition I would have sworn he was yelling at me, but I know better. Let me rephrase...HE KNOWS BETTER.
I asked him why he didn't come ask me this question when he first started his search and he responded by yelling and shaking his fist, "There is nothing I hate worse than asking for help!"

My previous look of disbelief was overtaken by a smile. A very large smile. Actually, it was probably a smirk that he wanted to slap the sh*t out. I then calmly stated, "You are such a man."
And as a man would do, he stood there and fed me a line of crap about how he intends to make my job easier.
I wanted to let him know that there is help available, whether it is in the form of a licensed professional or by simply asking me before wasting half his day on his ego.
Men....

Peace my peeps