Note....This is the next chapter to the "Dating Those in Mid-Life Crisis" note. I have a feeling it will become a series.
Friday was to be like any other Friday. I awoke, got ready for work, took the trash to the street, and left for my short 3 mile trek to the office. My mental preparation for my day is a JAM of loud music on this 45 mph drive to the gallows. I pass the same high school kids waiting at the bus stops and make a mental note of the characters they will one day take on in my FB notes. I pass the cemetary where each day I say a prayer for all of those resting in peace. Then I turn down the short street to my side parking lot.
"Sweet Jesus. Mary, Mother of God" were the exact words I uttered this Friday morning. Coming out of the same parking lot I was entering was the white BMW that nearly took me to heaven several months ago. It was "Speester". What the hell was he doing here? I had no advance warning that I would encounter him today. Normally, I will get the annoying text that he will see me or the "Jenny, Jenny...who can I turn to" lyric on a voice mail.
Luckily for me, he was leaving. But it was 630 in the morning. What on earth was he doing there? No matter...he was leaving. And thank God, it appeared he did not see me.
I head to my office, make coffee, settle in and begin reading my email. Suddenly, a familiar scent of a heavy musk preceeds a tall, lurching figure in my doorway. It was him.
"Jenny, Jenny...who can I turn to?" is what I am hearing. My insides cringe, the Kegel exercise I was doing tightened even more, and I'm sure pure disappointment was all over my face.
I could not believe I had been blindsided by him. As much as I hate hearing from him, at least I ususally get a warning that he will be around. Not this time.
Thankfully, he only talks to me for a couple minutes and moves on to his next victim. Now I'm left to wonder how long I'll be free from his annoying presence. I go ahead and get busy, trying to take my mind off my invasion. But not for long....
He's back, and now has me blocked in the file office across the hall. He talks to me about Christmas and asks about mine. He tells me he's thinking of trading in his death chariot. Turns out he's paying over $1100 a month for it. If I'm paying that much for a car, it better come as a pair and have drivers. He then tells me how he had to pay $800 for two tires. When questioned why he already needed new tires (less than 9k miles) he adequately stated that it was due to his constant acceleration and his frequent visits to the150 mph mark.
He tells me after a drunken trip with a buddy to see the Opryland Hotel christmas lights, where he jumped a fence and topped a camel for a picture, he stopped drinking. He said he realizes that '09 was his mid-life crisis year and he's a changed man.
"I even went forward in church."
I didn't hear anything else after that comment. I almost couldn't control my inside laughter. Don't get me wrong.... I grew up in church and watched many people go to alter calls and turn their life from pure outright sin to just secretly sinning. I ain't mad at ya! It's just that all I could picture was Jesus being blindsided by "Speester" coming to the alter.
I remembered uttering "Sweet Jesus" when I was coming in the parking lot. I can only imagine Jesus now saying, "Sweet Me. What is this cat doing, fist pumping me and asking Me into his heart?"
Peace my peeps.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Dancing With Myself....and Billy Idol
Dancing With Myself....and Billy IdolShare
Today at 9:40am | Edit Note | Delete
After a great day of bowl games I settled into bed last night watching NPT, Nashville Public Television (....and yes, I was....). They have some pretty cool stuff on that channel. I'm usually spending an evening watching David Foster specials with various artists, or Josh Groban and Michael Buble, Bette Midler or Barbra Streisand. Last night was especially surprising and entertaining. Billy Idol.
I grew up in the 80s a HUGE rock/pop fan. I adorned my walls with lots of posters torn from my TigerBeat magazines and was always playing records or cassesttes. MJ, Culture Club, Duran Duran, Billy Idol, and many many more. I was far from normal as a kid but pretty normal in this part of being a "tween" and teenager.
Anyway, I was amazed at what I was watching last night. Billy Idol, probably 55 or 60 years old was HOT! He still has the punked up white hair and a body to compliment his punky "do". At times he was not wearing a shirt and probably looked even better than back in the 80s. I found myself desiring this older man. I began humming "Flesh for Fantasy"! He had six-pack abs, nice pecs, and that dent in the man's body that shows the pelvic muscles. Oh.... His voice didn't sound at all bad, either. Oh to be in my 50s and throwing my underwear on stage at this man!
The camera would do close-ups on Billy's long time guitarist, Steve Stevens, but I was not so impressed with him. When they would show his hands playing the guitar it reminded me of my mom's hands. Truly...they looked like a woman's hands. Then they would pan up his body and to his face. Ewww! He looked like Phylis Diller with black hair, only she was wearing tight leather pants and a faux snake skin shirt. Scary.
But back to Billy Idol. I suddenly remembered only months ago when I went on the date with the 53 yr old man. Why couldn't I have picked a fella that age that looked like Billy Idol, not one with incontinent issus?! We would have been rockin' the "Cradle of Love" instead of me avoiding annoying texts and phone calls.
It's a new year and I have 363 more days to date in 2010. Sometimes I find myself as a "cougar". Those young men lifeguards at the Y make my tummy feel funny. ;o) Yet some of these older men I see make me want to be more mature and sophisticated. I should probably stick to finding someone my age so we can grow old rocking each other's worlds.
Anyway, after the Billy Idol concert special was over I went on to flip thru channels. I came a across a story on MSNBC about the porn industry. It was focusing quite a bit of attention on how there are so many women CEOs in that industry and how successful they are. Hmmmm. I'm thinking there is an opportunity there for me to find the young, middle, and older man. Hmmmm
Don't worry, Fro. I'm just thinking out loud.
Chances are I won't find a man to date today since there are more bowl games on, so I'll just keep re-living those Bily Idol moments from last night.
I wonder if he pees in public.
Peace my Peeps
Today at 9:40am | Edit Note | Delete
After a great day of bowl games I settled into bed last night watching NPT, Nashville Public Television (....and yes, I was....). They have some pretty cool stuff on that channel. I'm usually spending an evening watching David Foster specials with various artists, or Josh Groban and Michael Buble, Bette Midler or Barbra Streisand. Last night was especially surprising and entertaining. Billy Idol.
I grew up in the 80s a HUGE rock/pop fan. I adorned my walls with lots of posters torn from my TigerBeat magazines and was always playing records or cassesttes. MJ, Culture Club, Duran Duran, Billy Idol, and many many more. I was far from normal as a kid but pretty normal in this part of being a "tween" and teenager.
Anyway, I was amazed at what I was watching last night. Billy Idol, probably 55 or 60 years old was HOT! He still has the punked up white hair and a body to compliment his punky "do". At times he was not wearing a shirt and probably looked even better than back in the 80s. I found myself desiring this older man. I began humming "Flesh for Fantasy"! He had six-pack abs, nice pecs, and that dent in the man's body that shows the pelvic muscles. Oh.... His voice didn't sound at all bad, either. Oh to be in my 50s and throwing my underwear on stage at this man!
The camera would do close-ups on Billy's long time guitarist, Steve Stevens, but I was not so impressed with him. When they would show his hands playing the guitar it reminded me of my mom's hands. Truly...they looked like a woman's hands. Then they would pan up his body and to his face. Ewww! He looked like Phylis Diller with black hair, only she was wearing tight leather pants and a faux snake skin shirt. Scary.
But back to Billy Idol. I suddenly remembered only months ago when I went on the date with the 53 yr old man. Why couldn't I have picked a fella that age that looked like Billy Idol, not one with incontinent issus?! We would have been rockin' the "Cradle of Love" instead of me avoiding annoying texts and phone calls.
It's a new year and I have 363 more days to date in 2010. Sometimes I find myself as a "cougar". Those young men lifeguards at the Y make my tummy feel funny. ;o) Yet some of these older men I see make me want to be more mature and sophisticated. I should probably stick to finding someone my age so we can grow old rocking each other's worlds.
Anyway, after the Billy Idol concert special was over I went on to flip thru channels. I came a across a story on MSNBC about the porn industry. It was focusing quite a bit of attention on how there are so many women CEOs in that industry and how successful they are. Hmmmm. I'm thinking there is an opportunity there for me to find the young, middle, and older man. Hmmmm
Don't worry, Fro. I'm just thinking out loud.
Chances are I won't find a man to date today since there are more bowl games on, so I'll just keep re-living those Bily Idol moments from last night.
I wonder if he pees in public.
Peace my Peeps
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