My misfortune...

So I had a little misfortune yesterday and I'm pretty sure I brought it on myself. I've been working out very often with my workout buddy and pressing on towards my goal of plus size model. I had to go to Krogers after work and pick up some groceries and while I was in there I made the mistake of turning down the frozen dessert aisle. I wanted to see if the Klondike bars were on sale. They weren't....but it didn't matter. I bought a pack anyway! It's not going to kill me to have them as long as I don't eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Having one on a weekend night is as much pleasure as I can get lately. Cut me some slack!
I check out, go to my car, get in and turn the key. Hmmm. Now this noise I am NOT hearing is NOT normal. I turn the key again. Hmmm. Again, no noise. My battery is dead. I immediately think that this is my "workout karma" purposefully restraining me to cause my Klondikes to melt.
I wait and wait and wait for someone to come out who is parked around me to jump me off.
Finally, after I could use a spoon to eat my Klondike bars, a gentleman parked in front of me comes to his car. Oh...nice looking, clean cut, wedding ring, and it was a minivan. I knew he was someone safe and would be willing to help. He jumped me off and I was on my way.

Fast forward about 30 minutes to O'Reilly's Auto Parts.

I go in O'Reillys to purchase a new battery. There are two men at the counter, one on the phone and the other helping a customer. As my bad luck would have it, the one on the phone ended his conversation and asked to help me. I told him I needed a battery and he told me he'd even be nice and install it. Up until this afternoon, I thought that was their job. A friend informed me that it is a service auto part stores provide. Um....I used to work in one in high school and Mr. Elliott would have never let Greg or Tim sell a battery to a woman without them installing it. Period.
Anyway, I have to describe this guy. I shall not be hypocritical of his completely tattooed arms because I am not without the permanent ink. However, he had one of those earrings in his ear that leaves really large holes....like he is a member of some primitive tribe. He looked like he could be a member of Black Sabbath. I had so wished the other guy was able to help me.
He tells me that I'd be surprised how many people can't install a battery. Nope, not surprised. He told me I should get new wipers. Nope, got them a couple oil changes ago. He told me it only takes him 10 minutes to change the oil in his girlfriend's car. I tell him that it's a wise thing to date a man that can fix a car.
Oh, bad move, Jen.
He looks up, says to me, "you're single aren't you?" I shake my head yes and at that very moment realize I should have lied to him. He says, "sweetie, if I were single you and me would go out".
I'm thinking..."I can put a bratwurst thru your earlobe".
Like hell we would.