Jenny Bruce Heifer

I can't make this stuff up.....
To those who have read my notes before, you know I dream alot. Too much. Last night, once again, proved no different.
You know how we tend to dream things we've thought about, talked about, seen, etc. during the day? Happens to me, too. I'm weird but not any different than you. Here goes....
I am the only woman in a department of men. Needless to say, I'm popular. I don't know if it's my supply of Willy Wonka candy, my darling personality, my ability to listen even when I'm screaming on the inside for the person to shut up, or my rather voluptuous breasts. Does it even matter? Anyway, they all stop by my office dozens of times a day and talk. They talk about their wives, girlfriends, work, weekends, our boss, sports....anything, and they talk about it. So needless to say it didn't surprise me when one of my "regulars" stopped by yesterday and talked about how slow work was. He went on to say that if it got too bad he could go back and work his farm. He said he would buy some "feeder calves", fatten' them up and sell them. He went on and on and it was then that I was screaming inside that I'd rather be submitting a document than listen to this man talk about fattening a calf up to be the quarter pounder it will eventually become.
Part two...
My last status post mentioned something about me knowing what I wanted to do. I stated in a response that I was going to trim down and be a plus size model. I will never be skinny. I don't want to be skinny. I heard growing up that meat is for the man, bone is for the dog. I live by that motto. I am big-boned and have curves, and I can do everything a little woman can, and just as well. Heck, I've heard a man scream my name more than once....you dig? ;o)
I'm getting somehwere with this...trust me....
So in the middle of the night I am dreaming about calves and weight loss. The two are not a pretty combination. I wake up thinking I have to lose the amount of weight equal to that of a calf. WTH? I promise I do not smoke 'da dope.
I say to myself...OUTLOUD....in the middle of the night..."Jenny, you have to lose the equivelant of a heifer.". So I immediately start to giggle that I'm carrying around extra weight equal to that of a heifer. It comes to mind, the Jenny Bruce Heifer has to go in order to achieve my plus size model goal.

When I lose this "heifer" I'll still be curvy and sexy, I just won't have half my body mooing or looking for a tit.